i'm a mess without you
by IlOvEcHoRdOvErStReEt
Summary: rachel and finn where two people madly in love untill a crash tears them apart. they both want to see each other but is afraid to. will they ever fall in love again or will she choose sam?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first ever story I've written so please take it easy on me and don't forget to REVIEW thanks guys ~iloVeChOrDoVeErStReEt

CHAPTER 1.

It was dark and I swear I could hear him calling me his sweet voice with a slight cold tone. It always seduced me. But I know he's not here because I'm in New York while he's in Ohio. I miss the way he used to sing to me and the way he used to make me laugh and his goofy smile and his big brown eyes. It's been years since we've spoken to each other…we haven't talked since the accident…I still can smell his scent in my bed… I try to hold back the tears but they coming flooding I know he doesn't miss me or love me because if he did he wouldn't have left me because… it wasn't my fault.

'Rachel babe are you okay' Sam asks curiously as he gets out of bed to get me to come back.

'Yah' I say and wipe the tears from my eyes 'I'm fine'

'Okay' he says and lies back in bed falling asleep.

I look out my window and imagine Finn coming back to me and holding me in his arms and telling me he loves me again. But then I realize he doesn't love me. Because he said it himself when he left. We were going a little bankrupt and when the accident happened we went into serious dept and he blamed me for it because a big truck hit our car and totaled it. And he blamed me. I remember the words he said when he left.

'You did this Rachel, if you hadn't of crashed the car we just might be okay! I never want to see you again' it kept going over and over in my head.

I began to cry and I wiped them I want to see him again. But I'm afraid of what he might do. I'm going there tomorrow whether he likes it or not. I'm going to see him and I'm going to tell him how much I still love him. Because I cant keep living a lie. No more Sam…. I want Finn.

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'Dude you okay?' Puck says and kicks Finn in the side 'you kept moaning and crying again was it another Rachel dream?'

Finn opens his eyes and sees Rachel's still not with him he did brake up with her. 'Yah how did you know'

'You've been a dump since you left her and still living in MY HOUSE' puck says emphasizing on the "my house"

Finn tries to smile but cant he's lived a lonely life without Rachel and want her back but doesn't know where she is. He moans and cries a little as he gets out of bed hanging his head. I miss her so much. He thinks to himself. I wish there was some way I could see her face again.

So tell me what you thought by leaving a review thanks~ iLoVeChOrDoVeErStReEt


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys so this one is going to be a little longer~IlOvEcHoRdOvErStReEt

CHAPTER 2

'Its not my fault!' it went over and over again in his head.

Why was Finn so STUPID! He was just angry that they couldn't go on a decent date because they had so little. God, he why can't he call her. He picks up his phone… then sets it down again. He was afraid of what she might say and if she would even pick up or not. He sits back on his bed remembering that night. He started to cry thinking what if she was married and had kids. Or even forgotten about him, what if she moved on, what if… he didn't want to hurt his brain anymore so he stopped thinking.

'Yo, dude Mercedes called' Puck said as he walked into Finn's room 'she said Rachel's coming into town and needs someone to pick her up'

Finn had the biggest grin on his face as he ran to take a shower. He was finally going to see her again. He toke his clothes off and jumped into the shower thinking of what he might say to her. And what he might see…. a long pass of silence went by as he thought of that…. Especially to see her…. With someone else. He shed a tear afraid of that but he knew she still loved him because she called him at least a million times after he left. Why was he so stupid?

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I got off the plane… alone. No Sam I left him in New York. I sat down in the closest seat to the exit. Then… I saw him. He was looking at me. I could tell. He had a big grin on his face it was long as a mile. He came up to me. I smiled a gentle but warm smile.

'Excuse me miss, but are you miss berry?' he asked and toke my hand and looked me in the eyes. A moment of silence fell between us. It had been so long since we've seen each other. I wanted to kiss him but instead I answered his question 'yes, that is me how can I be of service to you?' he smiled and said gently 'I'm your ride' I smiled back as we walked to his car.

It smelled just like him. When we arrived at the reunion party he toke me upstairs as I said hello to everyone when we walked past them. When we got up there he told me to sit on the bed and I did. Then he did something unexpected. He kissed me and not just a quick kiss. It was deep like he was sending me a message that he still loved me. I began to lie on the bed as he kissed me softly. I ran my fingers in his dark brown hair. He felt so good to see him again. But what he left me again. I pulled away.

'I'm sorry I just can't do this' I say trying not to cry 'we should be friends first'

'Okay I guess we can be friends first' he said not thinking about what he was saying 'How about we start over and we can go to get breakfast one morning'

'That'd be nice' I said smiling softly as he kissed my cheek.

'I missed you' he said putting strands of my hair behind my ears.

'I missed you too' I said looking into his eyes. A moment of silence passed as we looked into each other's eyes. He smiled. I always loved his smile. It made me feel like I was home. He leaned in to kiss me again but I pushed him away. And went down stairs to say hi to everyone. Blaine and Kurt looked at me suspicious of what I had been doing up there but I just smiled and they seemed to forget about it.

'Hey girl it's been so long' Mercedes said as she gave me a hug and introduced me to her husband matt. 'Rachel this is Matt, Matt this is Rachel.'

'Hi' he said 'Mercedes told me all about you, you must have an amazing voice.'

'Thank you' I said as I saw Finn come down stairs with something in his hand. I looked at him suspiciously and excused myself. I walked over to him.

'What's that?' I asked referring to his hand.

'It's a gift, for you' he said. 'Close your eyes' I closed my eyes as he put it around my neck. I opened, my eyes to see a gold star with the words "I love you" on it. I looked him in the eyes.

'Thank you' I said. 'Its beautiful' then he kissed me lightly. I pulled away. I swallowed hard. Then he realized what he had done. I raised my hand to slap him but I didn't. I ran out crying. Tears falling everywhere and I heard him follow me so I ran faster. I tried to get a taxi when he caught me. He grabbed my arm.

'Let go of me!' I yelled trying to get of his grip.

'I'm sorry Rach, please let me fix this' he pleaded.

I looked him in the eyes. ' I said I wanted to be just friends'

'I know and I'm sorry I just…. Really love you' he said and kissed me again. I tried to pull away but I couldn't. He wins. And I kissed him back and dug my fingers in his hair.

I hope you liked it and make sure to REVIEW! ~IlOvEcHoRdOvErStReEt


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up I was in his bed. It smelled just like him. I rolled over to see Finn fast asleep. I kissed his forehead and got my clothes, toke a shower, and before I left I left him a note. Then I kissed his forehead goodbye. I walked out and got a

Taxi and headed to find a place to stay for the week.

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When Finn woke up he looked for Rachel but she wasn't there. Then he saw the note and read it. It said:

"Dear Finn,

I love you but it can't be this way. I want us to be friends first. And if I works out then… we can date. My only problem with running into your arms again is if you break my heart. I'm sorry but please just accept this. And when I'm ready we can be together but until then. Let's be friends. When you wake up call me then we can get breakfast like you said.

With love,

Rachel"

He got up and got dressed then called her.

'Hey I saw your note and I just wanted to say that I accept it' he said with a grin.

'Okay so where do you want to eat?' I asked signing the paperwork for the hotel agreement so she can stay there.

'How about eddy's see you there in 25 minutes?' he asked as he put his socks on and looked for his car keys. 'I'll pick you up just tell me where you are'

'Okay, see yah there' I said wanting to say I love you.

'Bye' he said.

'Bye' I said then hung up.

Finn threw on his best shoes. And shined his car then got the engine started and began driving to eddy's. he found the CD Rachel gave him and he threw it in and sung along with it. He was so happy that day that he was distracted and crashed into a bus. He blacked out.

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I began to get worried. I called him over and over again and it went to voice mail. So I called Quinn his sister and she picked up.

'Hey Quinn its me Rachel I was wondering if you knew why Finn wasn't answering his phone' I asked worried.

'Oh my gosh! Rach I'm sorry I forgot to call you Finn's in the hospital' she said teary eyed.

'What happened!' I asked trying not to cry.

'Just come.' She said and hung up.

I ran and got a taxi as quick as I could. Crying the whole time. I was super worried. When I got there they directed me to his room and told me he got into a really bad car accident but was stable. I went in all teary eyed. And saw him smiling. He wiped my tears.

'I love you' I said looking into his eyes.

'I love you too' he said then pain shot through his arm as he put his head on his pillow.

I sat there next to him. Stroking his hair. He fell asleep and I kissed his forehead. I sat there thinking. I guess its not meant for us to be just friends, were meant to be more than that. I think I should give Finn another chance but I don't want him to hurt me again. Maybe we should be friends first. I hope he understands. I love him but I cant risk getting my heart broken again. Maybe he'll understand. Then he woke up and smiled at me. I smiled back.

'Hey' he said then gently rubbed the side of my face. 'How are you?'

'Good' I said smiling. ' I'm so sorry this happened, but at least I wont blame you.' Then I left tears in my eyes. I grabbed a taxi and left for the hotel then the airport. "I cant be here again," I said to myself as I signed out then grabbed a taxi to the airport.

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He tried to get out but they wouldn't let him. He leaned up and then Quinn pushed him back down. He wiped his face and sighed. It wasn't his fault he got into the accident but it was his fault that he blamed Rachel then left her over something stupid. GOSH, WHY WAS HE SO STUPID! He loved her but the stupid crash. And now she's doing the same thing. But at least she didn't blame him. She just left. When he needed he the most. Just as he did. But he blamed her and she didn't blame him. So he guesses it's a little different. Only this time. He has the broken heart.

'I … I.. Need to see her.' He mumbled with the strength he had left.

'Your too sick Finn.' Quinn said wiping his forehead.

'NO' he said with confidence and tried to stand up. ' I need to see her…I need to make this right' then he stood up and toke off to a taxi. He waved one down and jumped into it before Quinn caught up. He called her but she didn't pick up so he headed for the airport. Hoping. He'd catch her before it was too late.

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I called Sam to tell him I was coming back but were not dating and that I needed someone to talk to. He agreed we'd be friends. At least he wasn't temped. But then I heard familiar footsteps and turned around to see who it was.

'Hey' Finn said out of breath. ' Can we please try again? I never meant to hurt you I was just upset. And stupid. Please give me another chance. And I'm willing to be friends first.'

'Well I'm not' I said looking into his eyes.

'Why not?' he asked pleadingly.

'Because I want to be more than that.' I said rubbing my neck. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.' He said then kissed me holding my tight. Then he smiled and I smiled back. Then we got into a taxi and went to his house. He carried me into his room and we kissed. I love him so much. When I woke up the next morning Finn was missing. But he left a note saying he had to go to work and when I woke up to come see him. I toke a taxi there and I saw him smiling. I walked up to him and kissed him.

'I love you.' He said passionately

'I love you too.' I said smiling ' And I have a surprise, I got us a house in New York.'

'Awesome' he said and kissed my forehead.

'I'm going to pack.' I said pushing on his stomach. 'See you there.'

I HOPE YALL LIKED IT AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! ~IlOvEcHoRdOvErStReEt


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